I have taken it for granted. I didn't realize how elegantly simple my life had been, until things got complicated. Now, there were surely issues and crazy arguments and a racing mind filled with thoughts of the future, but none of that was truly pressing or life changing in it's scope. Life was all "lessons" to be learned and "experiences" to be had...
Then reality hit. Over the past two months, I've gone through things I had never gone through before, and it feels like life just started going too fast. A close friend died, other friends and coworkers got laid off, and I've learned that relationships are freakin complicated. There is so much running through my mind right now... memories, questions, and so many thoughts about the future.
Still, I know this is only the tip of the iceberg. There are others who deal with so much more. Seeing Jason's mother cry her eyes out for an entire week, I could only imagine what she was going through, and I praise God that I don't know her pain firsthand. Hearing the strain in friend's voices as they search for a job, or settle for one they wouldn't have considered two years ago, I marvel at how blessed I am to be where I am, and at how easily it could all turn around. If your issues consist of school and work and time management and which friends to invite to your next function, feel infinitely blessed. The gift of a clear mind, a life unfettered and clean, seems to only be appreciated after the fact.
The paradox of insular language
1 year ago
2 comments:
sometimes losing and being unable to find a job makes life simpler! and more beautiful. like mine :)
i learned not to need much. and now i have time to spend with god and i have much, much more. i own hardly anything, but i have everything i need. including, finally, happiness.
will be praying for you, though. losing people close to us is a pain that never really goes all the way away. it's finally been a year since i've lost anyone dear, but in the span of my pregnancy i lost two grandparents, two cousins, and two aunts. and one of those cousins was that girl who told me about new kids on the block and bought me my first drink and who i followed around like a lost puppy attempting to copy any and all things she did, because she was cool. life is not easy, and it is cruel, but those are the things that we can't live without, or it wouldn't be beautiful.
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