New Endeavors

There is excitement and anxiety in building something new for God. The human psyche has a torrid, hot/cold love affair with the new and the unprecedented, and the mixture of anticipation and trepidation is enough to keep us up at night. We dream of the day when we will regale a new generation of young trailblazers with stories of the sleepless nights and unsure days that led to our ultimate, unmitigated success. We are plagued by the thoughts of being another in a long list of those who have tried and failed, and cringe at the possibility of suffering as a result of our efforts.

In dealing with these conflicting emotions, we often tell ourselves (and others) to put thoughts of suffering and failure as far from our minds as possible, and reassure ourselves that we are too blessed to be stressed, too secure to fail. Our focus is on doing away with those thoughts, and fostering more of the big, beautiful dreams. We are told that everything will be amazing, and that "God has great things in store for us." This, we are told, means we are going to be wild successes, never touched by the unfortunate or unpleasant.

In reading through Philippians, I have to wonder; is this the best way to deal with the range of emotions that come with new endeavors? Paul doesn't shy away from the possibility of danger and suffering. In fact, he considers suffering to be a certainty, and more than that, a gift. For those believers paving the way in Phillippi, he offers more than the typical "everything will turn out great" response to their plight. He confronts the weight of anxiety and persecution, and tells us it is a blessing, because we share in the suffering of Christ. Not just this, but as he is writing this you can almost hear the unbridled, almost manaical joy in his tone.

He has realized that even the weight is a gift, and even the burden is a blessing to the child of God. He serves a God who takes all things, not just good things, and works them together for our good. This is the way to have an unquenchable desire for God; to desire not just the good, but even the painful, if it brings God glory. This is "foolishness" to those who don't know God in this way, but if you really get down to it... this complete trust and contentment is the only method we are given to live the Christian life.

And yet, I'll be completely honest with you. I kind of don't want to learn this lesson, because there are a whole lot of ways I could get hurt right now. I wish there was an easier way. I suppose it is time to get to know God a bit more, because there is something inherently trustworthy in Him that will make this all make sense. Or, alternatively, make me completely crazy.

Oh well, either way.

(Check out my new blog for Church Plant Worship Leaders, at www.churchplantworshipleader.com)

I Have Known Heroes.

I have been privileged. I have known heroes of the faith; men whose lives challenge and enrich mine. I have been shown the way to live for God, by men who changed their towns and their world with the love of Christ.

One of these men, Van Hilliard, is an octogenarian who has lived more in his 80s than most of us have in our entire lives. He has smuggled Bibles into countries in Eastern Europe, helped start churches there, and served on Disaster Relief teams here in the states (and that's jus what I know of). This amazing man of faith fell and hit his head. He is now in a coma, and has been pulled off of life support.

I am thankful to have known him, and I know he will be completely happy to be with Christ... but selfishly, I think many of us hope and pray that Van will somehow make it through. The world needs heroes.

Google, is this your way of getting back at me?

I got onto my blog today, after several crazy, no-blog days. The first thing I see is an ad in my "adsense" stuff to the right there (feel free to click on it, usually). The ad is one of those "...and I'm a mormon" ads.

Very funny, Google. Very funny indeed.

It is funny, though, how they actually have an ad campaign designed to let the world know that they're normal. Unfortunately, nothing can really explain away this...


I once heard these mormon underwear described by Mark Driscoll as "a onesy with a trapdoor".

*sorry if this offended any mormons... feel free to make fun of Christians when we do weird stuff, like, you know, wearing onesies.

Distant

I have a lot of stuff going on in my head right now, literally. I am super congested and I've been sick for the past several days. When I get like this it is hard for me to think straight or talk right. It is like there is a wall between me and the world, or even me and my own thoughts. Everyone sounds far away. Everything seems... distant.

I feel like this spiritually sometimes, as well. I think this proves that sin is a sickness... it enflames what occurs naturally inside of us to make us feel distant from God and keep us from thinking straight.

That is all I've got for now. Hope this all clears up by Friday!

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Turning Good Intentions Into Great Actions

I wish I could tell you how to do this, but it is honestly one of my greatest struggles. It is hard to get the feel of momentum when I do manage to get started, and I am both easily distracted and a procrastinator. I end up talking about a lot of things, but starting much less. Then I start several things, but end up continuing only a few.

Like right now, I would like to be working out, writing songs, growing the music and youth ministries at my church, working on my masters degree, doing a benefit concert with friends, learning the mandolin, reading the entire bible, and becoming a more consistent blogger. In the past, I would probably have started five of those things, and finished three. I am no longer willing to settle for that kind of result. The only problem is, I don't know exactly how to live differently.

I haven't started working out yet. I haven't played the mandolin in a while. I am on pace to finish the bible sometime next decade. The songs aren't coming, and the blog posts sometimes feel forced. I even fell behind on the concert stuff... Luckily my friends are incredible musicians!

I know that if I were to tell you I was working full time, going to Grad school, leading music and youth, and doing the benefit concert, you would probably think my life was busy. The thing is, I also spend about 10 hours a week watching TV or playing video games. I sleep too much on Saturday mornings, and every morning for that matter. I know I could do so much more.

So instead of a "how to" post, this is more of a "have you ever felt the same" or "how do you deal with this" type of post. I know so many of you are flippin amazing, raising entire families while doing enough to make me look downright lazy. How do you keep yourself moving? How do you stop yourself from staying still for too long?

The only time I want to "be still" is when I'm "knowing He is God" :-P.

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Something For Nothing

In my day job, I work in an industry where the customers expect something for nothing. We work with federal money, and we get people who seem to believe that should be their primary source of income. The welfare culture has created a generation that believes in participation trophies, a generation that can't bear to call anyone below average. People expect their mere existence to be a rewardable achievement.

I am disheartened, therefore, to hear about that same mindset plaguing the church. I hear about churches with otherwise amazing people, being shuttered because of a lack of giving. Ministers with years and years of training end up working at fast food restaurants to keep their families fed. And yet, everyone bristles at the thought of being asked to give more, sometimes leaving churches because they were "all about the money."

Yet, I think this is merely an educational issue. We have been conditioned in one way of thinking. That way isn't correct.

Hear me, Texas and Arizona friends... Nothing is free. In the case of federal money, the price for the handout for some is paid by the taxes of another. There should be a gratitude there.

The situation with churches is different. The price is not going to be paid by anyone else. We are all called to sacrificial giving countless times in the Bible, and this sort of uncomfortable giving is a show of faith. Even ministers do this. In fact, they give more than you may ever know.

Nothing is free. The price for a "something for nothing" attitude in the church is nothing short of closed churches, broken hearts, and a generation of disillusioned pastors. I am annoyed to see this attitude in my day job... and brokenhearted to see it in my spiritual family.

Because of the life I've lived, chances are you know me from some sort of ministry. Wherever you are attending right now, be a cheerful giver. If you know the joy that come from faithful giving, teach others. If you don't... don't come to God with your money in a clenched fist. Have an open hand and a cheerful heart, and do something out of faith. An open hand is the only way for money, or anything else, to come into your hands. God doesn't promise to bless a clenched fist.

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To The Guy Who Puts Massive Wads Of Toilet Paper In The Toilet

Nobody thinks you're cool. You arent being funny, or ironic, or rebelling against "the man." The man has a private toilet, fashioned from the bodies of underperforming sweatshop workers from overseas. Instead, you just made a mess for the janitors, and ruined the afternoons of people stuck in the same job you apparently hate.

However, I would like to meet you. In fact, I will gladly bear the burden of your friendship, and the stories of your jerkness, for simply one golden opportunity. You'll be happy that day, when I come to your house and watch an inevitably horrible show with you and your family. We will laugh, and then I will excuse myself to your restroom. You will lead me to the guest bath, but that isn't my objective. Oh no, I will move quickly to your bathroom, and your children's bathroom, and drop off payloads that require hazmat suits to approach and flush. I will cover the presents with copious amounts of toilet paper, like the Poop Santa wrapping his presents, and exit without saying goodbye.

The next day at work, you'll approach me in a state of disbelief, but in your heart you will know that you have gotten what you deserve. As a look of horrified understanding crosses your face, I will smile and laugh. It will be a beautiful moment.

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