Choosing Sides

We are often happy when two of our friends start dating. We are even more excited for them when they prepare for marriage. We have pictures from their wedding, and invite them to double dates and game nights, and all is right in the world.

Then it starts. You see one of them constantly dejected, or the other constantly unavailable. You see less love and more obligation. The tension between them is palpable. The effort becomes more one sided.

And then we pick sides. Inevitably, one person becomes the obvious choice, the other a pure villian. I am okay with this in certain situations. If one person gives up on a relationship, or cheats, or simply leaves, and the other person hasn't been abusive and has tried to reconcile a situation they didn't create, the answer is obvious. The villian has chosen their path.

But what do you do when the answer isn't so obvious? What do you do when both people have hurt the other, when neither has been willing to compromise? What do you do when your long time friend is the obvious villian?

Is it ever really that cut and dry?

All I know is that when I pray for my couple friends, the prayers always have a small selfish element. I don't want to have to choose sides. I like you both! Besides, Kristen and I need good double date partners for the next 50 years or so.

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